January 22nd, 2008 by tziaaa

January 20th, 2008 by tziaaa

 

 

 

 

January 16th, 2008 by tziaaa

I didn’t reply his 10 messages.
Because I’m expecting for his call since last night.
well… he end up telling me I’m expecting too much from him.
okie. no expectation then.

feel like giving up.

January 15th, 2008 by tziaaa

Tuning in to ~ you were my everything.

This goes out to someone that was

Once the most important person in my life

I didn’t realize that at the time

I cant forgive myself for the way I treated you, so

I don’t really expect you to either

Its just, I don’t even know, just listen

Your the one that I want

The one that I need

The one that I gotta have just to succeed

When i first saw you

I knew it was real

I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me

Let me show you the way

I look for the sun but its raining today

I remember when I first looked into your eyes

It was like, I was there heaven in the sky

I wore a disguise

Cause I didn’t want to get hurt

But I didn’t know I made everything worse

You told me we were crazy in love

But you didn’t care when push came to shove

If you loved me as much as you said you did

Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit

And you pushed me away

Like you never even knew me

I love you with my heart, really and truly

I guess you forgot all the times that we shared

When i would run my fingers through your hair

Late nights, just holding you in my arms

I don’t know how I could do you so wrong

I really wanna show you

I really need to hold you

I really wanna know you

Like no one else can know you

Your number one

Always in my heart

And now I cant believe that our love is torn apart

I need you and

I miss you and

I want you and

I love you cause

I wanna hold you

I wanna kiss you

You were my everything and

I really miss you

I need you and

I miss you and

I want you and

I love you cause

I wanna hold you

I wanna kiss you

you were my everything and

I really miss you

I know you gonna sit,

And play this with your new man

And then sit and laugh that you holding his hand

The thought of that, just shatters my heart

It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart

All the time we was off I was scared to show you

Now I want to hold you until I cant hold you

Without you, everything seems strange

Your name is forever planted in my brain

Damn it I’m insane, take away the pain,

Take away the hurt, baby we can make it work

What about when u looked into my eyes

Told me you love me

As u would hug me

I guess everything u said was a lie

I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes

Now I’m not even a thought in your mind

I can see it clearly, my love is not blind

I need you and

I miss you and

I want you and

I love you cause

I wanna hold you

I wanna kiss you

You were my everything and

I really miss you

I need you and

I miss you and

I want you and

I love you cause

I wanna hold you

I wanna kiss you

You were my everything and

I really miss you

I just wish everything could of turned out different

I had a special feeling about you

I thought maybe you did too

And you would understand but

No matter what u would always be in my heart,

And you will always be my baby.

Our first day it seemed so magical

I remember all the times that i had with you

Remember when you first came to my house

You look like a angel wearing that blouse

We hit it off

I knew it was real

But now I cant take all the pain that i feel

Reach in your heart

I know I’m still there

I don’t wanna hear, that you no longer care

remember the times, remember when we kissed

I didn’t think you would do me like this

I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depress

I thought you’d be there for me this I confess

You said you was my best friend

Was that a lie

Now I’m nothing to you

Your with another guy

I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying

Now in the inside it feels like I’m dying

I need you and

I miss you and

I want you and

I love you cause

I wanna hold you

I wanna kiss you

You were my everything and

I really miss you

I need you and

I miss you and

I want you and

I love you cause

I wanna hold you

I wanna kiss you

You were my everything and

I really miss you

And I do miss you

I just thought we were meant to be

I guess now we’ll never know

The only thing I want is for you to be happy

Whether if your with me or without me

I just want you to be happy

 

January 10th, 2008 by tziaaa

January 9th, 2008 by tziaaa

Stress.

He said he is stress because he is not sure whether his choice of studying accountancy and finance is right.
He said he not sure whether business really suit him.
As I know, his parents want him to be a chattered accountant.
& he is stress-ing over his future. He said he scared he will regret.
I don’t know how to help him. It’s his future & he had to decide himself.
He later tell me he should think thoroughly again himself & not to disturb me.
WTH. what I’m to him. I don’t mind to be a listener when I know i failed to give advices.
Later on he text me again.
saying that he is okay already.
He told his college’s friend what’s pulling him down and they council him.
Alright, guess his friends is more useful than me.
I’m so useless that I couldn’t cheer him up.
And can’t even be there for him.
He said he don’t want to disturb me. guess It means he don’t need me.
I feeling bad for being such a useless girlfriend.

I don’t feel good since the day he start his college.
I heard fucking lots of rumors that he asking girl’s number, this & that.
Since he is denying all of it.
I know I am not suppose to believe in all those craps.
Instead, I should have faith on him.
But I just lost control after looking at myself.

I don’t know how should I react.
can i like… get freed from all this?
I am dreaming over a fairytale relationship.
Love, which is sweet & simple.
and. Happy ever after.
with no jealousy, fights, misunderstanding and …………..

hmmm.

January 7th, 2008 by tziaaa

Boyfriend is so nice today. Even though he had only an hour break from his college. He came over to visit me, just to see me. wee~ Thanks alot. I appreaciate that. But still, i am fucking sure he saw pretty girls at college even though he said no. *sigh* And he is hiding the fact from me. I don’t like it. I reach home 11 plus today. Wanted to talk to him. but he said he is tired, and need to sleep. Hmmm. Boyfriend will be really busy soon. I cant imagine what will happen when I start my studies. Time we get to be together will be getting lesser and lesser. * SOBS * Maybe I’m thinking too far huh. Just hope things will be fine by then.

I love you boyfriend. I am greedy.

It’s monday. Damm little customer today.
We camwhored and take turns to go out for shopping. =)
cool job huh? got shopping break. ble.

Yang came visit today.
I hate him yet I miss him!
He is so fun! though he bully me sometimes.
* most of the time, I’m bullying him* hee!

oh yeah!
Michelle & IvanK came to visit me ALOT!!
* cough cough *

& That bitch in my shop is getting worst.
Fuck up attitude wei!
She act like she is damm close with everyone when she is not!
I found out that there’s many more people that dislike her!
macam beautiful!
macam tau banyak. piuk!
* inside jokes *