2 months ago, I turned 27.
Last year, I’ve learned to be GRATEFUL.
This year, on top of being grateful, I’ve learned to be RESPONSIBLE.
Last year this time, whenever things go out of plan, I would tell myself, “It’s okay. Be grateful for whatever happened, you will soon figure things out.” Whether or not I’m ready, I’ve reached the age where it forces me to (really) grow up, & to be RESPONSIBLE on every decision made.
Really, in all parts of your life, 27
= the start of late 20s
= basically almost 30
= no longer any definition of “kid”.
27th, I’ve learned to be responsible for:
#1 MY FAMILY
Besides being grateful for them, now I learned to be responsible for them.
Last year, I travelled quite a bit. & I realised my only worry when I was travelling was…
“What if I didn’t make it back, who will be taking care of my parents?”
I didn’t grew up from a wealthy family. Though we might not have a lot, we grew up healthy, happy, cared for, and, above all else, we knew we were loved unconditionally. My parents would sacrifice everything just to make sure we grow up HAPPILY.
Now that we have grew up, graduated, and started working; Guess it’s time to switch the role. Treat them, like how they treated us when we were younger. They surely deserve the kind of love & happiness they gave us when we were young.
As much as I can earn, to buy them dinner and all the material they wouldn’t buy (just because they would rather spend on us); I know they would be happier if I can be there to talk to them, or simply being there for them.
DON’T GIVE EXCUSES.
Manage your time well, that’s what responsible people do.
“I’m busy”, simply showed that you failed to manage your time, & is not responsible enough.
Hence, as much as my schedule is jam packed, I make it a point to:
– Have dinner with them at least 3 times a week.
– Commit to bring them for an oversea family trip once a year.
“You need to think clearly about what you can and cannot do, in order to avoid having to make excuses for yourself.”
However, the aforementioned only happened IF I am healthy & alive.
I learned to be responsible & plan for the worst, just because “what IF I never make it back one day, what do I have for them?”
27th, I committed to another life insurance with them as my nominee:
– to make sure my love & care for them stays, even IF I can no longer be there for them.
– to make sure I will not need to trouble them further if TPD happened, and I couldn’t work anymore.
Money isn’t everything, but it will definitely make tough time a little easier.
My siblings grew up respecting me a lot, & I know I am a role model to them at most times.
I used to think it’s okay to mess up, even if I know they would learn & copy that from me, it’s part of the life I thought.
But as I aged, I started to re-think if it’s really okay, & hmmm… that might not be a good idea.
I made up my mind, that I need to be a responsible big jiejie (to lessen the worries of my parents).
Really. I need to be ACCOUNTABLE for what I do,
to be able to advise them (properly) when it’s needed.
Of course, I do not control their decision, but instead I share with them on what their choices could lead them. With that being said, I will need to constantly up my game, strive to maintain the “role model” image.
Well, I am not perfect; in fact, I will never be. But instead of allowing them to copy & paste the shit I did, the very least I can do is to ADMIT MY WRONGS, and let them to learn from my mistake.
At last, undeniably I am always a proud jiejie of these two amazing humans. #eldersisterpride
#2 MY BOYFRIEND
We have been together for almost two years now, I learned that a relationship is more than just being grateful & being in love. We need to be responsible & committed to this relationship we are in.
My boyfriend, like I always said; he is my biggest inspiration, and strongest support system. To be very honest, I have been pretty bold to make certain tough decision in life, because I know he will always be there to support me. (:
A good relationship requires a two ways effort.
I could, & actually is RESPONSIBLE to do the same;
to inspire him & to be his support system.
I started to question myself..
“what’s my strength, and what I can do to inspire or even empower him?”
I am a creative person, I enjoy creating content;
Well, these aren’t his forte, & that gave me an opportunity to draw him some inspiration. *winkkk
While being a supportive system doesn’t mean fixing his problem.
This man that I am dating is capable enough in solving his problems (every single time). But… all humans will feel better when they know they are not facing shits alone. & I am responsible to assure & show him that no matter what happened, he will not be alone, because I will always be there. All I need to do is to be little more sensitive to notice when he has something bothering him, to offer him a listening ears.
Of course, to support him in all ways, even when I don’t fully agree with it IF he has made the final decision.
Just because, I believe that he would hold responsibility for every decision made. <3
#3 MY FRIENDSHIP
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
– Khalil Gibran
I used to have a lot of unrealistic expectation for friendship, and because that, some failed (miserably). As year goes by, I have accepted the fact that people come and go, when time comes, some must say goodbye. Instead of being upset over those who left, learn to appreciate the one who stay to share your laughter, worries & triumphs.
I am grateful that now there’s a handful of people who I call them my FRIENDS.
& I want to be responsible to all of these friendship built.
I would root for my friends, sincerely; without expecting anything in return.
I am reminded that friendship is never about giving & taking in equal shares.
I love because I want to, not because I am obligated to.
I learn not to be pushy, but to give friendship a complete freedom;
while letting them know I will always be there when needed.
I learn to be a little more expressive (with my facial expression).
Feeling grateful isn’t enough, you need to show your appreciation to your friends.Trust me, the feeling of being appreciated is simply amazing. If we love it, then we need to do the same to those that truly matters.
I learn to be tough but soft with my words, honest but not brutally blunt.
For sure, there’s will be no sugar coated stories, also no words that hurt (I hope).
I do not take mistake friendship for business opportunity; vice versa.
I am responsible to paint smile on my friend’s face.
Well, that’s what friends are for, yes?
#4 MYSELFLastly, I have learned to take responsible for myself;
My thoughts, feelings, words & action.
I remember Shengyi used to tell me: “Don’t blame others for your emotions, you are responsible for that.”
I couldn’t understand back then, and I thought it was plain ridiculous.
For instance, if someone offended me, how can I not be angry?
So there’s was once, I was really mad/upset with someone who has disappointed me.
I then remember what Shengyi said, and started to ask myself..
“Can I choose not to be upset?”
“What happened if I get emotional?”
“Will I feel better if I release my anger on that person?”
Answer is, being overly-emotional doesn’t benefit me in anyway.
I then chose took the responsibility to control the thoughts (of being upset). Told myself that it’s fine, and remind myself that being emotional doesn’t change things. I responded calmly, with the intention to get things sorted & not to win another person. Fair enough, it all ended well just because..
I CHOSE HOW I RESPOND.
Don’t get me wrong, I still get emotional (occasionally).
But I learned, to control it.
I am responsible for my emotions, & I am responsible to make myself happy.
**I repeat this everytime I get overly-emotional, & it works.
Being responsible for myself also means…
STOP BLAMING & COMPLAINING.
Stop blaming people around you, yourself, or even God when things go wrong.
Don’t play victim, & learn to see the good in all situation.
I practice this when things go out of control, I question myself…
“Put others aside, what’s my role in this?”
“What else can I do to make things better?”
“Did I learn anything from this?”
I do my best to see all things that happened, especially the bad, as an opportunity to grow.
Trust me, it’s not easy, but it will be worth it.
Knowing that everything happened for a reason;
If all is good, then I thank God, & count my blessing.
But if things went wrong, I asked myself what does God wants me to learn from this?
Well, 27th is weird, I suddenly learn to take responsibility of whatever happened.
I guess, that’s what ADULTING is all about. ugh.
This year has been a little diff, there’s no roller coaster ride.
As much as all that matters to me remained. Still, (some)thing has changed.
For instance, I joined Shengyi’s BelieveTeam and became an (legit) insurance advisor. That’s one thing that I never thought I would do, also one thing that has impacted me the most to learn to be RESPONSIBLE for my family, boyfriend, friend & myself.
Every year I challenge myself to learn a bit more about the person I am, and the person I want to be.
This year, it’s RESPONSIBILITY.
I am looking forward to see how things change when I turn 28. Stay tune.
Lastly, here’s a video to recap my 2018 birthday celebration.