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TZIAAA

Lifestyle, Beauty, Travel & Food Blogger

TZIAAA

Lifestyle, Beauty, Travel & Food Blogger

FEELS

poundering

By tziaaa Posted on December 2, 2008October 13, 2014 9

And a lesson learned at a time apropos
That to be content one must fall and grow.

…

I having sociology test tomorrow. revisions are not done yet.
in fact, I haven’t even started my revision. I couldn’t concentrate.
My life is a complete utter mess now.

I am alone, I am unwanted, I am unloved.
Things can never be any greater than this.

Met him. and i thought he is my prince charming and thought that my fairytale love story has just came true. Slowly became who I am not just to please him. Likes whatever he likes, into whatever he’s into. Don’t even know what I truly want. Dream is always the warmest, sweetest and brightest things ever. Everything seems to be so fine. The moment that horrid the most is when you got up from your dream. & That’s when I got my heart broken once and once again by the same one. I realize I got to leave. Start things all over again. I always thought I am strong enough. Thought of the time we kissed, the sorrow entraps me. Though things kept changing, but it doesn’t mean that it never be like this before. Maybe. it’s just too good to be true. I am still trying hard to bandage the wound of my broken heart. Meanwhile, I realize my friend got hurt. She is the one that made me thought that there’s still sweet and pure love. But, things no longer the same. It makes me fear, realize that love is nothing but, suicide.

“Cinderella brokes her glass heels and the prince failed to find her and married another young lady.” This is how it should be in the reality. anyone can just replace you. you are not anyone special. so grosteque.

Perhaps, love is not my thing.
I thought it’s ok, because I still have awesome friends with me.

but things weren’t like what I thought.

A, is too busy with exams and her boyfriend. I couldn’t blame her for that, I guess. It’s understandable to stick with the one you love 24/7, moreover, he will be leaving next year. Ten years friendship isn’t that fragile, whenever I need her, she still will be there. & she will never abandon me. Just, we seldom talk anymore. Remember that we used to talk for hours bout nothing. I miss it real much. I felt being casted away now cause our friendship have already lost the sparks.

B, she is pretty and hot. She is a magnet to guys. *I never get jealous over my gfs. I knew they are much better than me. & I have always feel proud about it* but yesterday, it was the first time I got so jealous. Jealous of why I got to live without everything she has. If only I were her, I wouldn’t get neglected. Worst come to worst, she ditches me. I thought friend doesn’t abandone friend? aren’t we best friend? why would you ditch me for someone you know for less than a week? I felt nothing, but disappointment.

C, she just finish her SPM. and she gonna fly. I will be damm busy with my assignments. I couldn’t hang out much with her. I am so afraid that our friendship going to fade away. please tell me, that it will never happen.

Or these are all reflections of me myself.
Could it be everytime I blame others,
It was me myself that I should scorned.


All these emotional thoughts flood my mind, I cried,
in his car, on the way back from ss2.
Thought of me being unwanted and unloved jerk the urge of my tears to fall. So pathetic.

I am having my sociology paper tomorrow and yet I am in such a condition.
I am so stressed-up. I want to concentrate. I want to score with flying colors. sigh.

just, GOD bless me.

i was later on a little delighted by these chocs.
thanks, friend.


XOXO
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9 Comments
  • YaoYao
    December 2, 2008

    Err.. who actually u refering? =X
    Anyway, get good hold of tmr test 1st.. its not realli good to say that “Forget about them” or something..

    Place urself be 1st for now =D
    Even if this realli going to happen..
    Its not what u did.. its how the world cycling..

    Juz cheer up =3 Ur named “Che-e-rLin~” so.. i smile for u 1st.. u follow next~
    (:D

  • Anonymous
    December 2, 2008

    Look @ the bright side, each challenges you face, you'll learn & be stronger each day. Friends come & go, people can be sweet & some people can be a jerk, moments can be fun & moments can be bad. That is how life is, c'est la vie.

    When you have gone through it, & you look back, you'll tell yourself "Hey, that wasn't too bad after all". So hang in there, & stay strong!

    Words of encouragement will always be there to support you, friends will always be there to support you. You'll always be loved no matter what…

  • story-bearer
    December 2, 2008

    hey syg,
    no worries, yeah?
    if we die then we die together tomorrow. but i think you’ll do fine, tho. (:
    don’t stress out too much, love is for everyone, your right guy is already on his way; no need to write off love so soon.
    chill, and things will improve.

    (:

  • xiang
    December 2, 2008

    haiya dont think too much lo, juz pay attention on ur study first lo, smr got test, better study hard ah, friends got many type one la, i also met a shiet fren b4, we treat him as brother, he treat us like idiot, in the end he loss all the fren, and get the punishment that he should, good luck, cheer up

  • Anonymous
    December 3, 2008

    TTT.. i m KG.. dunno is wat makes me here .. lolz.. saw ur blog link to some1 n tats y i m here.. not sure whether u stil lrmb me nort.. but.. ijzu cheer up la.. life n world is really realistic.. even fren.. maybe when u lose it once, onli u will appreciate.. hmm.. i dunno how to express out wut i m thinkin now. not so artistic n cant write like a writer to comfort u..am at uk now.. feel free juz giv me a ring (altho i noe is impossible la.. lolz..) frenster me or msn me oso can la.. ur sis got my msn de le.. but.. u like disappear in my list jo…

  • フよこカた
    December 3, 2008

    chill..tzia…
    we here:)
    u r my fren:)

  • Anonymous
    December 3, 2008

    Just don’t date dickhead guys. You girls are so eager to fall in love that you miss out the whole getting to know a guy before getting together with him.

    And you wonder why you get your heart broken.

    There are tons of nice guys around that will cherish, appreciate and really care for you. guys that aren’t interested in sex only. You just gotta look harder and don’t give yourself away so easily.

  • Adele
    December 4, 2008

    I know I am C.
    Tzia, I really wanna tell you this.

    I will be there for you whenever you want.
    I promise you.

    So what if SPM is over? That just proves that I can go find you anytime, anywhere :)

    I love you, like I always do.

    I TELL YOU.
    OUR FRIENDSHIP WONT FADE AWAY.

    Muacks!

  • CherliN :: Tzia
    December 4, 2008

    yaoyao – my exam flung. but i m smiling now =)

    anon – ur words of encouragement really did help me. thanks.

    story-bearer – gonna die again. tomorrow. ahhh.

    xiang – my frens are awesome. that’s why i am afraid to lose them.

    KG – wahh, u so far how to ring u?
    i seldom sign in msn d la.

    kahyin – thanks girls, damm long din see u d.

    anon – yea. u r right, and that;s the reason for the fall. i never give away myself just like that. =)

    DEL- thanks sayang. glad to hear that. muaks…

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Tziaaa

Tziaaa

A lifestyle creative that blogs,
& occasionally makes video.
Enjoys traveling & eating,
while constantly musing over LOVE. ❤

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