“We’re single, but not leftovers”

I’ve recently came across this short film by SK-ll –“Marriage Market”, & it caught my heart.

In it, it shows the real-life issue of Chinese daughters being pressured to get married before they turn 25, and how these daughters bravely step up to deliver personal message to their parents, asking for better understanding.

“I don’t want to get married just for the sake of marriage, I won’t live happily that way.”

“We’re single, but not ’leftovers”
– Chinese women refuse being pressured into marriage.

Generally, women over 25 who are not married are referred as – SHENG NV (剩女).
As has been reported by the BBC, The New York Times and China Daily, the term has been used to denounce women who, regardless of the reason, want to wait with marriage – women who simply want to marry for love.

It immediately got my attention, I am 25 & single.

I am glad that my parents did not pressured me into marriage.
However, there’s always aplenty to answer when I am question about my relationship status.

“You’re single? 25 is no longer young, you should start seeking.”
Isn’t that common? Well, when you’re single & age 25 above, it will be. (:

“I want to take time to find the right person.”
As the film shows, marrying for love can be easier said than done.

Now, would you sacrifice love for marriage?
I won’t.

I don’t want to waste time on men who are wanting a relationship that isn’t really a relationship.

“Even if I’m alone, I will be happy, confident and have a good life.”
“Being independent is a great lifestyle and it’s the life I want.”

True enough, I complete me, I fulfill all my needs.

I work hard, I pay my bills, I maintain myself;
I have my dreams, I have my goals;
I have courage & confident in heart.

And, yes I am happy alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not mean that I don’t want marriage.
I always believe that two is better than one.

I am happy in my current state, I am working hard independently to be the right person for my future other half.

I do not want to be married for the sake of marriage. I want to be married to the guy that loves me, share the same values with me, & know how to hold his woman in high regard and with respect.

Honey, it’s completely okay to be alone.
Happiness, is the most precious thing in our life after Love.

Before love comes, be happy. We must break the shackles of the cultural conditioning that tells us that the only route to happiness is marriage. Don’t get all stressed up, because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile. (cliché, but true, haha.)

This short film really touched my heart, it’s amazing how the women in it it are shown to be happy, independent and confident – the opposite of the desperate image of Sheng Nvs often being portrayed. SK-ll reminded me, as a woman, that I have all the right to choose my paths in life & to take control of my destiny.