I kicked started my #Happiness101 with – Decide, to L O V E.
& undeniably, it has made me happier.
So I thought, since I am working on relationship, I probably shouldn’t neglect the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with my friends. Well, where would I be without my friends? They played an extremely important role in lifting me up when I’m down and being there to celebrate most of my successes. (even SY was one of my extremely supportive friend too, hahaha.)
While I was considering whether to include “Friendship” into my #Happiness101, I found this infographic online which explained “Why Friends are so Crucial to our Happiness?”
Guess it explained it all.
So, what did I do for “FRIENDSHIP” which contributed to my happiness?
– Build New Friendship
– BFF Date
– Let Go Grudges
Build New Friendship
This is easier said than done, especially for an extroverted introvert like me. I meet new people very often, but I don’t make a lot of friends. Okay… put it this way; I enjoy hanging out with people, but only “true connection” with meaningful conversations make me happiness, other wise it’s just going to leave me feeling empty.
Hence, for my #Happiness101, I challenged myself to lower down my guard, and initiate the “true connection”. I avoided small talks as much as I can, & literally spilled my heart out to get to know the other person better. Risky much, but the outcome can be very rewarding too.
I met this one girl who has been around me for months, but we’ve never really talk to each other. One time, when I was sited beside her alone, I was reminded to – be engaging, & initiate “true connection”. We started having real conversation for the very first time, & it surprised me how like-minded we are, I saw so much of myself in her. Talking to her blessed my heart, she’s inspiring and motivating. It feels really good, that I eventually wish to talk to her every time I see her; Today, she’s a good friend of mine, & also my daily dose of happiness. I wish I’ve done this earlier.
I’ve learned to put myself out there, take the initial steps to really get to know someone. It’s perfectly fine to add a few new people into your friendly acquaintances. You might just develop a new friendship from there. At least, I did and this new friendship makes me happy. (:
Building new friendship can be hard, but maintaining strong friendships is even harder due to our hectic lifestyle and as our lives become more complicated. We have too much in our plate that eventually make it harder for us to stay connected with our friends. From primary school to secondary school, to tertiary ed, to work; I am sure we have made a lot of friends, at the same, a lot of them have fallen by the way side.
I decided, to RECONNECT.
It was CNY, and was indeed a perfect time to re-connect with all my friends. Catch up with these old friends over dinner was one of my fav. part of the whole CNY season. And boom, there’s something that will not changed; You can go a whole year without seeing these people yet able to pick up right where you left off. I am amazed, and of course, very happy that the small little effort of setting up dinner to re-connect can actually bring us so much joy.
I also tried re-connecting with my old friends by reminiscing the good ol’ times. This, I have to give credit to the awesome Facebook’s “see your memories” feature. It reminded me of the good moments I had with some of the friends I am longer in touch with. I decided to share the post, tag them, then strike up a conversation with them!
Undeniably, nostalgia is a beautiful feeling. Re-connecting with these people eventually brought up memories of those good ol’ times while growing up. It certainly paint smiles on our face!
Celebrations often relates to – BIRTHDAY celebration.
True enough, “birthday reminder” is always a great excuse to drop a line, & RECONNECT.
However, for #Happiness101 I learned not just to celebrate birthday; but to celebrate success, victory of anything good that happened – together. Because, I came to realise that no joy is truly completes until it has been shared with others.
I shared the joy when my friend got proposed, launched their new businesses, etc.
2017, a few of my closest friend, got into a new relationship, while some, engaged & married. I am overwhelmed with all sorts of unexplainable joy when I see ’em look the happiest I’ve ever seen them. Vice versa, when I got into a relationship, they celebrated mine like it was theirs, and I can literally felt that over-flowing happiness in them. The feeling, is magically beautiful.
Celebrate your friends’ happiness, and look forward to welcome more joy into your own life. You reap what you sow. (:
Date your best friend! Yes, I am talking about a friends’ date!
Don’t doubt, just like relationship with your partner, friendship requires intimacy too!
Especially, if you’re dating right now;
Remember, do not push friendship to the back burner!
End of last year, I had an amazing getaway date with my #annoyingbff. We spent quality together, did some serious catch up (it was hard on normal days due to our hectic schedule), and made each other better. She made me rest & eat (normally); while I forced her to excercise with me! She even inspired me to pen down my new year resolution and prayed over it! Friendship date like these often allows you to learn so much about each other. We learned to embrace the difference & enhance each other’s strength.
It was a blast. We certainly need another getaway.
As of now, while our schedule is jam packed. We resumed our weekend brunch date!
Note: It’s a date, be busy with it! I mean, date wholeheartedly. Do not plan a date on a tight schedule.
We had a 4 hours of brunch date; with no fixed agenda, just coffee, & real relationship-building conversation. We still vent a little about life and all, but it ended as a mutual edifying session. I love how a simple brunch date like this evolved into a mind-blowing one; I am inspired and blessed. This definitely paint smile on my face. :D
Then, I decided to be a little more adventurous! Hiking date sounds really good, and we are finally doing it together. The thought of it already excites me, & I can totally imagine how we are going to end up laughing at our complete ineptitude! It’s going to be hearty laughing-out-loud time!
Let Go Grudges
For #Happiness101, I do not only work on building a better friendship with those who have been a blessing to me; I also decided to work on friends who have disappointed me or wronged me.
It was a nightmare for me, to grow so close to someone until they do wrong. They spread rumours about me, and backstabbed me. It was hurtful, to me, & my reputation. But, because they are already part of me, I am stuck in a conflicting position where I want to hold grudge, but I do not want to ruin the “friendship” we once had. Hence I pretended to be okay, without really letting go the grudges.
During the month of me deciding to put effort in, friendship. I decided to make a decision whether to let go grudges & keep ’em in my circle or by all means, distance myself & grudge hold.
I then, decided to let it go, not for anyone else, but for myself.
What did I do?
I acknowledged the hurt by talking to my #annoyingbff – I expressed every single bit of bitterness in me. Then, instead of letting the bitterness to dwell in me, & haunt me; I decided to practice grace & give myself the biggest gift I could give — FORGIVING. After all, I chose to forgive because that’s the only way to truly let go & be happy, again.
People make mistakes all the time, including myself! If you hold on to other’s mistake so strongly (which they probably do not even aware they did), you’re only killing yourself. I chose to keep them and love them, because it truly made me happier to be able to bless them in return. “Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are.”
In the end of the day, if He has forgiven all our sins.
There’s truly nothing we cannot forgive.
Forgiving surely doesn’t mean, forgetting.
I appreciate the lessons they thought me.
& this, made me happier.
I am glad I made it. (: